Our Story

I haven't been blogging long, but one of the things that impressed me most about blogging is the way in which it can be an encouragement to others. It really does bridge the gap of distance and makes this world seem closer. I know from my point of view I have been encouraged, simply from reading about other people's stories, many similar in ways to mine.

I am married to a wonderful godly man who is incredibly patient and loving towards me. We have known each other for eleven years and have been married for four and a half of those years. God has been very kind in blessing me with such an amazing husband. We've always wanted to have a family of our own - growing up I always wanted to have four children, two boys and two girls. I still like the idea of four kids, but we'll see what God's plan is for us!

We started trying for a family last year around October. I found out I was pregnant at the end of November, which was quite quick - we were envisioning it to take longer. So, needless to say, we were very excited. A few weeks later, after several visits to the doctor and some less than comfortable tests, we realised that I had had a miscarriage. Someone said once, "miscarriage is not for the faint hearted," and boy can I relate to that. I would never have thought that there would be such grief related to losing a baby that I only "knew" for a couple of weeks.

A few months later, we found out that we were pregnant again! Again, we were overjoyed at the prospect of becoming parents. I was feeling fine, but in my seventh week, I miscarried again. The rollercoaster of emotion was pretty tough, feeling the absolute highs of finding out we were pregnant, and experiencing the very lows of losing two precious babies. I am so, so thankful that I know the Lord, and that despite this pain, He really has been my comfort and joy throughout it all. By God's grace, both the miscarriages were early on in the pregnancy, which I am very thankful for.

So, that brings us to now, and we haven't fallen pregnant since. I have been to several doctors, just to check things medically - and I have been given the "all clear". Everything appears to be working as it should. I am obviously pleased and thankful for that, but still, each month brings its own sadness when we find out that I'm not pregnant. The specialist that I saw about four weeks ago said (in quite a blunt way - but I was appreciative of him getting to the point so quickly!) that the second pregnancy was "doomed from the start" because it was so close to the first miscarriage. He said that often your body needs longer to recooperate fully.

I am so thankful for reading many other's stories about their path to having children. You never want other people to suffer, but it is encouraging to know that I'm not alone in my feelings or experiences. I know that there are many, many others whose stories are so much more difficult than mine, and my heart goes out to you.

So, it has been a difficult 14 months, in many ways. Some days I will get sad at the smallest thing. I seem to notice babies and families a lot more. The majority of my closest friends are pregnant or have had babies. And our church has had a real baby boom the last year, so although that has been wonderful, it is quite confronting when you are bombarded by mothers and babies when you walk out of the church hall.

Another difficult thing has been getting through the arrival dates of our two babies. July 30 and October 4 were a little sad, particularly because I didn't have another date in mind (I wasn't pregnant again).

Despite this, my husband and I can say we are thankful to our Heavenly Father, who knows best. It may sound strange, but it has been a privilege to go through these trials, because through it, it has made us rely on God more and understand his faithfulness to us on a greater level. It has made me realise that I need him more each and every minute of every day. It is only by his strength that we have been able to keep going. I think also that we have learnt to not take this amazing gift of having children lightly or for granted. My husband keeps saying to me, "Jess, it will be worth the wait."

I hope and pray that we may fall pregnant again soon and that I can carry a baby to full term. I am so thankful for people like Kelly and her story, and her concern for others. She started a prayer blog for women who are waiting for children of their own. I'm thankful for having friends and family who are praying for us - you really cannot show greater kindness than that.

Now, this is a very long post - but I want to quickly say, that I chose my blog's title for a reason - I am learning day by day that true joy comes from knowing and following Jesus. Through my life, my experiences, my trials, I hope to give God the glory. I fail on most occasions, but giving God the glory is my goal, and it is my aim as we start a new year. I love the hymn, "Take My Life and Let it Be". The words are so beautiful. I hope they encourage and inspire you, as they have me. Thanks for listening.

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee.Take my moments and my days; let them flow in ceaseless praise.Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store.Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.